smilingrid: sunshine & showers

July 02, 2013

sunshine & showers

Friday, my roommate and I had this wonderful "let's meet up in NYC" plan all but set in stone and I was so excited to see her again... but then my boss told me she needed me to work on the day we had decided on. I honestly felt heartsick and like I was going to cry- tight throat, weighed down pit of my stomach, heaviness- especially when I didn't end up being all that necessary at work.

I hate it when I get like this, I do, but sometimes I can't control it... and it's hard to explain.

Remember when the whole of America went a bit insane for music from across the pond? I was definitely not immune and while that was happening I stumbled upon a girl group called The Saturdays (and a major crush on Niall from One Direction... but we're not talking about this). I really like their songs, they are upbeat and fun and sound amazing live (which is pretty important to me in my music choices). Once I start liking a group, an artist, or a musical act, I feel this need to get to know the people that are a part of it. When I was watching an interview the girls gave, something Frankie was talking about really resonated with me- the meaning behind her tattoo. 

Apparently, it started as a nickname from her grandmother, based on her personality- turbulent happy and sad. And I realized, that's me. I'm usually as sunny as anything but I can get myself caught up in a storm so easily, a storm of my own making precipitated by some outside factor... like this reunion that I was so looking forward to being smashed before my eyes.

Once I heard Frankie articulate my emotions it became so much easier to identify when a shower was creeping up and figure out how to minimize it- turn it into one of those summer showers, where the sun shines through the droplets that pitter-patter across the pavement. It has become something easy for me to do when I'm around friends, but when I get caught up in my own head, the clouds start rolling in. I just don't want to splash anyone with my puddles. 

I'm back in the planning stages with Megan about our trip to the Big Apple and I'm getting together with Kitty later today to work out the rest of my mope with some best friend hugs and noms. If you have any suggestions for our roomie reunion, touristy or not, please drop me a line in the ever so tempting comment box! Neither of us know the city well (read: at all) so it would be ridiculously appreciated!

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